Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago the Greatest Comedian Senator

 Courtesy of YouTube

Hindi ko maintindihan 'yong ibang words na sinasabi ni Senator Miriam. I listened/watched this video clip several times just to transcribe her speech.

 Transcript of Miriam's Speech:

These are young people talking about solutions for global issues.

Problem, world hunger. Solution, chop up some of the hungry people and feed them to other hungry people until no one is hungry anymore.

Problem, world peace. Solution, remove all humans from the planet.

Problem, poverty. Solution, give the poor people the job of chopping up the hungry people, and pay them.

Problem, industries. Solution, this will never be solved, because no matter how fair something maybe, some rekramador will beat about it and will come up with laid excuse unto why it is unfair.

Problem, over population. You’ll know what the solution is - sterilize the population.

One last problem. This is a particular concern to me. This is the biggest problem of my life, stupid people. Solution, kill them! Only I can get to decide who lives.

And now to beg the indulgence of our foreign guests here in the audience this morning, because I will speak in Tagalog, but it will be a joke. In any event to make up for this… failure, I declare you, in my capacity as former Immigration Commissioner of the Philippines, I declare you all, undesirable aliens.

I-test ko nga muna IQ nyo mga kapwa ko magtalumpati. May tanong ako. Tanong: Sino ang nagsabi nito:

Ayoko na. Pag nagmamahal ako, lagi nalang ako, lagi nalang maraming tao ang nagagalit. 

Wala ba akong karapatang magmahal?

O, sino nagsabi nyan?

Sagot: Gasolina.

Finally. Hindi ba sa tagalog, pag nag-iinom tayo ng may alcohol, tayo ay may pulutan. Kaya sabi ng naputakan kong presidente. Sabi ng foreign ambassador sa isang politikong kasama naming, what are the pollutants in our country. And the Filipino politician answered, “Oh, we have lots of pollutants, sisig, kilawin, chicharon, mani.”  Kaya ayaw ko ng sumasama sa mga politiko.