CALL CENTER SPOOFS PART 5

im working in a call center as a QA and ofcourse as a QA i get to listen to calls agents, one funny story i can share is: i have a newly hired agent and as a newly hired i need to listen to his calls and coach him about the opportunities that i observed in his calls, i was able to listen to his 5 calls and i observed that he would usually ask his customers ” where did you bought…” so what i did i coached him on how he can have a good call handling skills and commented that the proper sentence structure to his favorite line would be ” where did you buy….” i advised him that if he is not ok with my suggestion he can just look for or think of words that he can replace by and he said ok, i asked him to take calls again and the guess what he asked to his customer ” where did you PURCHASED….” he really did look for a new term but still in past tense.

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here's another one, while one of our QAs was listening to his agents call, he was laughing his out because guess why?:

here’s the conversation btw the customer and the CSR…

CSR: would you mind to spell that out for me sir? and kindly use phonetics, thanks

Customer: ok, here you go.. its Davis Quilt

D-david

a-apple

v- violet

i- india

s- smith and for my last name its

Q- cucumber

and before the custoemr can continue the agent interrupted..

CSR: what was that again sir, Q as in what?

Customer: cucumber…

CSR: Sir cucumber starts with C not with Q.. so is it C as in Cucumber or Q as in Queen…

Customer: Ahhhh, ic… Its c as in cucumber…

see its not always the filipinos who commits mistakes when it comes to english.
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got another joke to add from my days as a tech support rep when fixing networking/Internet issues.. a phonetics joke passed around in one of the companies i worked for..

TS: okay.. do we have the black screen up now? (referring to the command prompt screen)

Customer: yes

TS: okay.. lets type in there, all in one word, ipconfig-

Customer: (interrupting) -wait.. how do you spell that?

TS: IPCONFIG, sir..

it’s I as in India,

P as in Peter,

C as in Charlie,

O as in Orlando,

F as in Frank,

I as in India again, and

G as in Jesus!

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Telesales agent getting the customer’s

credit card info:

Agent: Can I have your expiration

date, sir?

Customer: My what?!!

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Telesales agent giving promo spiels:

Agent: You called at the right time,

ma’am. We have a lot of freebies to give

away, such as free installation, free

equipment, and free DVD player. That’s a

great offer, di ba?

Customer: huh?!

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TSR: It's C as in CAT.

CUST: what?

TSR: C as in CAT. C-A-T... me0w me0w...

(ayuz! very specific na yan ha baka hindi m0 pa magets...)!

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ethernet cord connected???...

Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with alabama accent)

TS: Yung yellow cord, mheem...

(oh-oow ngee nehmeeennn..)

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CS: ...That's E as in I-KOW... (echo)

(oki lang yan, Dong...)

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CS: Come again, sir?!!!

Cust: Oh sure, baby!!!

(negro siguro kausap neto...)

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TS: Ok, sir, this is ano... what you'll do... you have to type the ano...the command run and ano...

(...teypows enow???)

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Cust: So, do i have to wait for advice regarding the delivery?

CS: Sir, the package has been delivered and all we have to do is wait POR FICK UP schedule...

(... I can PEEL it!!!)

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CS: I w! as hoping you can take this survey with me... Would you have the time to do that, sir?

Contact: How long is this gonna to take?

CS: Mmm.. MGA three minutes....

(ay shyet!!!)

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CS: ...I'd like to speak with Billy Thompson please???

Contact: He's not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?

CS: Sure, SIGE...

(ay shyet, ulet!!!)

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local client kaya mostly pinoy and callers, usually from visayas...

Cust: hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???...

CS: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?

Cust: Hende naman...

CS: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?

Cust: Ang alen?

CS: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?

Cust: Nagre-reng naman ah?!

CS: Di ba wala pong ring?

Cust: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!...

CS: aahhh... yung BILL?!!!

(hende kase nagve-verefie mabote... tsk, tsk, tsk...)

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TS: Ok, sir... Could you please drag the icon UPSTAIRS?...

(... lemme try...)

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Cust (US): So how's the weather there?

CS: Well... it's kinda cloudy today, sir...

Cust: Oh really?!!!... So where are you located?

CS: Sir, your call has been re-routed in ORTIGAS!!!...

(... dats nir Mexico...)

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my previous teammate. after getting the service tag and verifying it agent said "that would be A for alpha, D for ****..." After putting the customer on hold for several seconds agent said "haller! thanks for waiting..."
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TSR: Click Start button, go to "Run".

CUST: How far should I run?

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TSR: Please close all Windows.

CUST: Do I still need to close the blinds?
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CSR: Thank you for calling (company). CanI have your order or customer number please?

Customer (irate): I am going to smash this computer into your face!

CSR: Is that a desktop or laptop?

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"O ma'am, can I put you on hold for about 2 months? I have to talk with my supervisor with this."

Called a customer service number once and when I didn’t get satisfaction, I ask for a supervisor.

The reply” There aren’t any here.”

“Well, can I speak to the Call center manager?’ I asked.

“There isn’t one.”

“Well when can I call when one will be around?”

“We don’t have any managers.” the rep replied.

“Sounds like a great place to work. How do I apply for a job?”

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CSR: So, you want to reset your password? Is this correct?

Cust: Yes.

CSR: Would you like to set your own password or would you like me to give you a generic password.

Cust: Uhmm.. just give me a generic one.

CSR: Alright. I have reset your password. Your new password will be... let me spell it out for you. That's K as in Kilo ... A as in apple....M as in mama.... O as in October..... T as in tango.... and E as in Echo

Cust: "Kamowt?" . That's a cool password. I'll never forget this. All right. Everything is working.

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tech support: ok sir, can u pls type cmd on the run field

client: what?!!!

tech support: cmd sir

client: (irate!) WHAT IS THAT?!!!

tech support: ok!!! c as in CLIENT, m as in MUST and d as in DIE (ngaiks!!!) hehehe

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GLORIA NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP -- REP. TEDDY CASINO

GLORIA NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP -- REP. TEDDY CASIñO

Congresswoman Gloria-Macapagal Arroyo?

It's final. President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo will be running as congresswoman in 2010 elections. She will be filing her certificate of candidacy today. She is barred from running the presidency because the Constitution prohibits her from doing so. She is qualified to run as a senator but why choose Congress? Simple answer for a complicated issue. GMA wants to stay in power beyond 2010. "To me it is a simple lead to poilitical power," says Ernesto Maceda, spokesperson of United Opposition (UNO). If she really wants to serve the people, she should have chosen the Senate seat because she will be elected-at-large unlike for a Congress seat where only voters from the 2nd district of Pampanga will be casting their votes. If she wins, she can persuade her allies in Congress to pursue charter change, dissolve the Senate, and of course the assembly would elect her as the new prime minister.

According to Rep. Teddy Casiño of Bayan Muna,  he has never seen a leader so obsessed with power as Mrs. Arroyo. "She is drunk with power and can’t get enough. I think she needs professional help," he further said.

HINDI AKO TATAKBO SA PAGKAPANGULO SA 2010 'NO? SA KONGRESO NA LANG, 'NO?
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MUSLIM WOMEN KILLED IN MAGUINDANAO MASSACRE AND ISLAMIC TEACHINGS

MUSLIM WOMEN KILLED IN MAGUINDANAO MASSACRE AND ISLAMIC TEACHINGS

Filipino Muslim women holding a rally

Image Source

Out of the 57 people killed in Maguindanao, 36 were female and 21 were male. Sixty-three (63%) of women were brutally murdered including Genalyn Mangudadatu, wife of Buluan town Vice Mayor Ismael "Toto" Mangudadatu, Eden Mangudadatu, municipal vice mayor of Mangudadatu and the two female lawyers Cynthia Onqueda and Connie Brizuela. It is worthy to note that majority of the convoy members were female, and Vice-Mayor Esmael Mangundadatu himself did not go with them. I think the gubernatorial candidate decided to have women filed his certificate of candidacy because he knew that more likely, Muslim rebels and other Muslim "criminals" will not "touch" them for a simple reason: Islam gives a high regard for Muslim women. However, according to Department of Justice Secretary Agnes Devanadera, “Even the private parts of the women were shot at. It was horrible. It was not done to just one. It was done practically to all the women. All the women had their zippers undone. The pants of some were pulled down... We have yet to determine whether they were raped. But it is certain that something bad was done to them.”

This made me wonder why such bestiality took place in a Muslim area. According to the Quran, the central religious text of Islam, women are equal to men before God. In a website dedicated to issues relating to women in the Muslim world, here's what it says about how men should treat Muslim women:

Narrated Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri: I went to the Apostle of Allah (pbuh) and asked him: "What do you say (command) about our wives?" He replied: "Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them." (Sunan Abu Dawud: Book 11, Number 2139).

"None but a noble man treats women in an honourable manner. And none but an ignoble treats women disgracefully". (At-Tirmithy).

If the prepetrators are really Muslims, ones who submit to the will of Allah, they should first and foremost, adhere to Muhammad's (considered to the last Prophet of Allah) admonition: "Treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers."

Otherwise, they belong to certain elite groups in the government who are just hungry for power. 
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A POEM OF SERENITY

A POEM OF SERENITY

God, grant me the serenity to accept things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference.


It is my prayer dear Lord to bless the people
Who are close to my heart
That they may enjoy the raindrops of blessings
You have poured out.


My loving Father, I plead unto You:
Restore my faith, revive my soul;
Give me a refreshing spirit; ,
Hide me into Your wings of love and mercy.

I became blind for a reason,
Reason which the world would never accept,
Just as You condemned it,
By Your utterance You proclaimed, ‘it’s foolishness!’


But I thank You Jesus for Your abounding love to me,
That by Your grace and mercy I became strong
Through Your power and compassion,
My wounds have been healed; You have set me free.


Living one day at a time;
Enjoying the moment at a time;
Accepting the hardship as the pathway to peace
Considering the circumstances as a test..


Taking as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His will.


This made me realize one thing:
Life on earth is not that easy.
But God Himself said, “Cast all your cares unto Him
For He cares for you.”


Honestly I would say
That it is hard to let go
But I would rather let God mold me
In His very own and special way.


That You and I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next chapter.
Would you rather strive for something of eternal value
Than be temporarily satisfied with this ephemeral world?
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146TH BIRTHDAY OF ANDRES BONIFACIO

146th Anniversary of Andres Bonifacio

Today Filipinos will be commemorating the 146th birth anniversary of Andres Bonifacio, one of the national heroes of the Philippines. Since I entered my first grade in elementary school, my teachers told us about the bravery of Bonifacio - on how he founded the Katipunan and fought against the Spanish colonizers. His ultimate aim was to liberate the Philippines from the yoke of Spanish slavery.

Born to a poor family, he was not able to finish formal education, rather he educated himself through self-study. It is a sad thought and feeling that a great man like Bonifacio died in the hands of his fellowmen when he was executed without mercy.

How I wish all the Filipinos would remember the sacrifices of this noble man.

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CALL CENTER SPOOFS PART 4

CALL CENTER SPOOFS PART 4

Another one. Syempre pulot lang yan sa iba. 


Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"
Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)
Tech Support:: "Well then we can't-"
Customer:: "It says 'no dial tone'."
Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to-"
Customer:: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to try a few times, and it will let me through."
Tech Support:: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're on the phone with me."
Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."
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Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
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Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
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Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
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Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
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Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
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Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk.
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy disk inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
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Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
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Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready.
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
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agent: i want you to type cd\ and hit the enter key
eu: where is the \?
agent: it's above the enter key
eu: where is the enter key?
agent: (huh?) it's located at the blah.. blah.. blah..
eu: ok, ok.
agent: now i want you to type netsh..
eu: ok, let me read it back to you netsh.. reset c, c, c (after a about 10 secs, eu doesn't know how to say colon) c and the rest
agent: c:\resetlog.txt.. alright, now hit the enter key
eu: file could not be found..
agent: just to make sure, let me spell it out phonetically.. blah, blah, blah
eu: i'm sure i typed it in correctly
agent: i don't mean to..
eu: let me read it to you again! blah, blah, blah..
agent: if you typed it in correctly then i don't think you will get any error
eu: i told you i typed it in correctly!
agent: i'm sorry sir, i don't mean to offend you and don't get me wrong but..
eu: i know what i'm doing!
agent Angry : ok! did you press the shift key when you typed in the colon symbol?
eu: should i?
agent: (sigh) yes! (mute- open your window, tie the ethernet cable on your neck and throw it out of the window!)
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agent: Sir, I've been telling you this for the seventh (presses the mute button) freakin (releases mute) time... This is dial up tech support. We don't book flights!
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Actual c0nversati0n sa isang technicaL acc0unt sa C-Cubed (Cust0mer C0ntact Center) habang nakabarge sa bidang agent na it0 yung seni0r rep ng team niLa:
TSR: 0kay sir, Let's check if y0u wiLL be abLe t0 g0 0nLine n0w...
CUST: yes... (yes Lang ng yes kase et0ng HAPON na it0... )
TSR: type in www.yahoo.com
CUST: what? yahoo.cot?
TSR: n0 sir... yahoo.com...
CUST: yahoo.cot?
TSR: n0 sir... com... C-O-M
CUST: cot?
TSR: (asar na) .com sir!
CUST: aahhh... yahoo.cot.
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CS: Thank you for calling... this is Candy, how may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
CS: No, sir, it's Candy...
Cust: Sorry, can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?
CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir... Candy... as in Storck!!!
(oohhh... now I get it!!!)
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CS: Was that a "B" as in boy or a "B" as in bravo?
Cust: Uhhmmm... how about "B" as in boy...
(good choice...)
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CS: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf?
Cust (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra)
Oh, Gebra!!! like the one in the Goo?!!!... Gusme... Gon't gou get git?)
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CS: Yeah, sir... sir... are you there?
Cust: Yes, yes, I'm there!
(siguro naglalaro sila ng Counter...)
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CS: Sir, do you have NET-ESCAPE there?
Cust: Huh?... Oh!!!.. No, I have MSN IN-NERNET EXPLODER here...
(... makes sense to me!!!)
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TS: Ok, sir... do u have a PEN and a PENCIL ready?
Cust: What?!!
TS: Oh, Im sorry, sir... Do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready?...
(klap! klap! klap!)
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TEAM LIBERAL PARTY FILED THEIR COCS TODAY

TEAM LIBERAL PARTY FILED THEIR COCs TODAY

Photo courtesy of  Manila Bulletin

President: Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino III, current Senator
Vice-President: Manuel “Mar” Roxas II, current Senator
Senators:
1. Ralph Recto, former National Economic Development Authority chief
2. Risa Hontiveros-Baraquel, Anakbayan Party-list Representative
3. Congressman Ruffy Biazon, Muntinlupa City congressman
4. Nereus Acosta, lawyer and former member of the House of Representatives
5. Teofisto Guingona III, congressman of the 2nd district of Bukidnon
6. Sonia Roco, wife of the late senator Raul Roco

Date of filing their certificates of candidacy: November 28, 2009 (Saturday)

To follow: profile of each candidate
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PAGTAWA (LAUGH)

Pagtawa (Laugh)

Interviewing a woman in Samar for my undergraduate thesis


Pagtawa
ni Marlon B. Raquel


Paghimo hin marig-on nga kahon

An mga ligid hini siguraduha nga marig-on

Ngan butangi hin kandado

Mga kabido igsulod na

Sadhi an mga purta.

An magpait nga im dumdum

Sadhi ngatanan ha sulod

Lingkud ha bawbaw han kahon nga hiyum.

Ayaw pagsumat bis hin-o

Han sulod hito nga sekreto

Paraa an pagkamasubo

Kay nanhisulod na man adto.

Ayaw na dumduma an sulod

An kalibutan diri masabot na

Higuta an kahon hin maupay

Ngan lingkud ha bawbaw, pagtawa!

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THE HORRIBLE MAGUINDANAO MASSACRE

THE HORRIBLE MAGUINDANAO MASSACRE

Karumal-dumal ang ginawang paspaslang sa umaabot 52 katao sa Ampatuan, Maguindanao. Nagdeklara na si Pangulong Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo ng state of emergency sa Maguindanao upang i-impose yong curfews at checkpoints sa nasabing lugar.

Matatandaan na papunta na sana sa COMELEC ang convoy ni Vice-Mayor Esmael Mangudadatu para mag-file ng certificate of candidacy for gubernatorial seat sa nasabing probinsya ng bigla na lang tambangan ang convoy ng tinatayang 100 armadong katao. Kasama sa convoy ay ang asawa ni Mangudadatu at dalawa nitong kapatid na babae, at ilang miyembro ng media. Swerte pa din si Mangudadatu dahil hindi siya kasama sa nasabing convoy.

Ayon sa mga nakasaksi, nakita daw ang deputy officer ng provincial office ng PNP at dalawa pang pulis at ilang bodyguards ng gobernador nung mangyari ang krimen. Ang kampo ng mga Ampatuan ang itinuturong salarin sa pangyayari. Nakakapangilabot. Malapit na naman kasi ang eleksyon at sigurado akong hindi lang ito ang mangyayari. Sumuko na sa pulisya si Mayor Andal Ampatuan, Jr. at nasa custody ng NBI sa kasalukuyan.

Ano naman kaya ang maaaring gawin ng administrasyong Arroyo? Ang pamilya Ampatuan ang tumulong kay Pangulong Arroyo noong 2004 elections ng siya ay manalo bilang Pangulo ng bansa.

Sana naman maisip ng mabuti ng lahat ng tumatakbo sa pulitika na pairalin ang batas at patas na laban. What do we expect from them kung sila mismo ay lumalabag sa karapatang pantao, mamamatay-tao, ganid at sariling interes lang pinapairal? Sana naman ay huwag silang maging uhaw sa kapangyarihan.

Sana gawin lahat ng gubyernong Arroyo ang lahat ng magagawa nito para maparusahan kung sino man ang may kagagawan sa massacre sa Maguindanao. 
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OUR VERY OWN EFREN PENAFLORIDA IS THE 2009 CNN HERO OF THE YEAR

OUR VERY OWN EFREN PENAFLORIDA IS THE 2009 CNN HERO OF THE YEAR

Another Filipino brings honor to the country when he was named as the 2009 CNN Hero of the Year on Thursday in Hollywood's Kodak Centre, Los Angeles, California - no other than Efren Penaflorida, known worldwide for his humanitarian efforts by bringing education to children living in the slum areas through his pushcart classroom.

The awarding ceremony will be aired globally on November 27 at 10:00 in the morning Manila time. According to CNN website, the CNN HEROES gala is "the only awards show of its kind - featuring celebrities honoring everyday people who have made an extraordinary difference in their communities and beyond."

The following are the Top 10 CNN Heroes 2009:

Jorge Munoz
School bus driver Jorge Munoz is helping hungry New Yorkers make it through tough times. Since 2004, he has handed out more than 70,000 meals from his mobile soup kitchen in Queens -- for free.

Jordan Thomas
Jordan Thomas, 20, of Chattanooga, Tennessee, lost both of his legs in a boating accident in 2005. Since then, his Jordan Thomas Foundation has raised more than $400,000 to provide prosthetics for children in need.

Budi Soehardi
Budi Soehardi founded a children's home in one of the poorest areas of Indonesia. Today, Roslin Orphanage in West Timor provides food, shelter and education to more than 45 children.

Betty Makoni
Zimbabwe native Betty Makoni founded the Girl Child Network to provide a haven for young victims of sexual abuse. The organization has rescued more than 35,000 girls since 2001.

Doc Hendley
Bartender Doc Hendley is providing clean water to communities worldwide. Through creative fundraising, his nonprofit Wine to Water has brought sustainable water systems to 25,000 people in five countries.

Efren Peñaflorida
Efren Peñaflorida gives Filipino youth an alternative to gang membership through education. His Dynamic Teen Company's 10,000 members have taught basic reading and writing to 1,500 kids living in the slums.

Derrick Tabb
Derrick Tabb started The Roots of Music to give young people an alternative to New Orleans' streets. His music education program provides free tutoring, instruments and music instruction to more than 100 students.

Roy Foster
Army veteran Roy Foster started Stand Down House to help veterans struggling with addiction and homelessness in Florida. Since 2000, his program has provided life-changing services to nearly 900 veterans.

Andrea Ivory
Breast cancer survivor Andrea Ivory is bringing early detection to the doorsteps of uninsured women. With mobile mammography vans, her group has provided more than 500 free screenings in Miami, Florida.

Brad Blauser
Brad Blauser is providing hope and mobility to disabled children and their families in Iraq. Since 2005, his Wheelchairs for Iraqi Kids program has distributed nearly 650 free pediatric wheelchairs to children in need.


With the award is a $100,000 (equivalent to P5,000,000 with $1=P50) cash prize for Efren and $25,000 each for the other nine winners.

Image Source: http://pinoyambisyoso.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/cnnefren_pinoyhero1.jpg
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MY FATHER'S 65TH BIRTHDAY

MY FATHER'S 65TH BIRTHDAY

I went home to attend the 65th birthday of my father, Gonzalo Raquel. It was a promise I made with my father before: to give him a birthday celebration when he reached at age 65.

Around 100 people from our barangay attended the celebration including our former barangay captain, the current barangay chairwoman, and some of the barangay kagawads. It was really a joyous celebration for all of us especially for my father. Tears flowed from his eyes when he delivered a short speech of thanksgiving to his family for supporting him and for organizing such event. He was really thankful.

The birthday celebration is quite simple. With a small amount that I have, however, we were able to accomodate the people. We hired a "combo" (just like a music band) in the amount of 2,000 pesos. People started coming into our house at around 10:30 in the morning. My siblings prepared the food - sarsang isda, pansit, menudong baboy, adobong manok, lumpia. At exactly 1:00pm, the emcee (our former barangay chairman and a father of my barkada) announced that the aminudo dance would start. To start the event, my father and a neighbor by the name of Deling partnered in the aminudo. There was a plate over the dusty ground where the dancers would dance around it while people started putting some money bills and coins on the plate. This is customary in our place and in other parts of the country especially in the provinces.

I took a lot of photos. The people really enjoyed the party. We served 6 watercans and a gallon of tuba, the favorite native wine of the locals. The celebration ended at around 6:00 in the evening. I thank the Lord for giving my father 65 years in life, and I am praying that God will lengthen his life. He is a responsible and a loving father to us. I am planning to hold another birthday celebration for him when he reach the age of 70 (my mother would turn 65 that time). 
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BRAZIL GOT THE MISS EARTH 2009 AWARD

BRAZIL GOT THE MISS EARTH 2009 AWARD

Miss Earth 2009 Titlecard

Larissa Ramos, a biology student from Brazil, was recently crowned as Miss Earth 2009. She took home the $20,000 (equivalent to 1 million Philippine pesos, US $=Php50) cash prize, and she is the first woman to receive the newly designed crown worth $100,000 (equivalent to P5,000,000). The beauty pageant was held at the Boracay Ecovillage Resort and Convention Center, Boracay, Aklan, Philippines on November 22, 2009. Sandra Seifert (Philippines) was crowned Miss Air as the first runner-up, Jessica Barboza of Venezuela as Miss Water (second runner-up), and Alejandra Echevarria of Spain as Miss Fire (third runner up). Seifert also won three special awards: Best in Swimsuit, Best in Long Gown, and Miss Jubilee Presidents' Foundation. Echevarria was awarded with Miss Discovery Suites Award and Miss Gandang Ricky Reyes Award.

Other special awards are the following:

Best in National Costume Evelyne Almasi (Tanzania)
Best in Eco-Bag Design Wear Tereza Budková (Czech Republic)
Best in Eco-Design Wear Jenaae Jackson (Jamaica)
Best in Use of Indigenous Products Wear Suada Saliu (Albania)
Miss Talent Niuriki Teremate (Tahiti)
Miss Photogenic Tereza Budková (Czech Republic)
Miss Friendship Graziella Rogers (Switzerland)
Miss Asei Park Ye-ju (Korea)
Miss Perwoll Jessica Barboza (Venezuela)
Miss AVSCOR Mariel Garcia (Dominican Republic)
Miss Eagle Express Park Ye-ju (Korea)
Miss Fontana Resort Yan Xu (China)
Miss Golden Sunset Resort & Spa Jamillette Gaxiola (Cuba)
Miss HDR Management Izabela Wilczek (Poland)
Pasigandahan Award Maria Luisa Santos (Guam)
Placenta Award Dignelis Jiménez (Puerto Rico)

"I come from a country that has the largest rainforest in the world, and it is also known as the 'lungs of the world.' But we cannot just say that we are the 'lungs of the world' because my country produces a lot of air pollution as well." said Larissa Ramos of Brazil, Miss Earth 2009 when she was tasked to share her views on the picture shown to her.

Sandra Seifert of the Philippines, on the other hand, said “We are the root of all these problems. But the good news is, we are also the solution. We can make the change now. Now is the time for leaders to be born. Let us embrace this mission, and become creative in solving our problems.”

The explanation of Seifert is very, very intelligent, isn't it?
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NEXT ARTICLE:

CALL CENTER SPOOFS PART 3

CALL CENTER SPOOFS PART 3

Agent asking the customer to be put on hold:
Tech Agent: Sir, can I hold you for just a minute?
Customer: Sure, baby, go ahead!
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Agent verifying correct spelling:
Agent: Is that a B as in boy, or a B as in Bravo?
Customer: ...uhmmm... how about B as in Boy?
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Technical Agent giving customer support:
Agent: Is the ethernet cord connected?
Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with Alabama accent)
Agent: Yung yellow cord kung nakakabit ba!
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Agent from a local phone company entertaining a Visayan customer:
Customer: hillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin??
Agent: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Customer: Hende naman.
Agent: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Customer: Ang alen?
Agent: Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Customer: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
Agent: Di ba sabi mo walang ring?
Customer: Hende! yong BELL! yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!
Agent: aahhh... yung BILL?!
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Technical Agent: To help you out with your concern, ma'am, let me just pull out my tool here, ok? (referring to a computer program used in call centers to address the customer's concerns)
Customer: Pull out your what now?
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Tech Support: Okay, Bob, just type P on your keyboard?
Customer: What? Could you repeat that?
Tech Support: 'P' on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: No way. I'm not going to do that.
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Agent: Sir, that is C for Cubao, Q for Quiapo.....
Customer: What is that?! I dont understand. I don't want to talk to you.
Agent: Who do you want to talk to?
Customer: I want to talk to the highest person.
Agent: My supervisor is not available as of the moment sir.
Customer: I said, I want to talk to the highest person.
Agent: Ok, you want to talk to the highest person?
Customer: Yes!
Agent: Do you want to talk to God?
Customer: what the f***! I'd rather talk to you.
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Irate Customer: F***k you!
Tech Support: Sir, we're not allowed to say "F***k you!" here...
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Agent: It's C as in CAT.
Customer: what?
Agent: C as in CAT. C-A-T as in meow meow...
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Agent: Thank you for calling us, this is Candy, how may I help you?
Customer: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
Agent: No, sir, it's Candy.
Customer: Sorry, i can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?
Agent: It's Candy sir... Candy... as in Storck.
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Agent: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf?
Customer (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra)
Oh, Gebra! like the one in the Goo?!
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Agent: Yeah, sir....hello sir... are you there?
Customer: Yes, sorry. I'm still there.
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Agent: Ok, sir... do u have a PEN and a PENCIL ready?
Customer: What?!!
Agent: Oh, Im sorry, sir... i mean, do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready?
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Agent: I'd like to speak with Billy Thompson please?
Contact: He's not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?
Agent: Sure, SIGE..
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Tech support: We're going to perform a check disk to see if your hard drive has errors in it. Please type in C-H-K-D-S-K.
Customer: What is that again?
Tech Support: C-H-K-D-S-K... that is... C as in Charlie... H as in Harley... K as in Karly.. D as in Darley... S as in Sarley... and K as in Karly... got it.
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NEXT ARTICLE:

CALL CENTER SPOOFS PART 2

CALL CENTER SPOOFS PART 2

Let's start with this one...
Agent: We would need to turn the router and the modem off, can you unplug them both from the power source please?
Customer: Is that necessary?
Agent: Yes sir we need to reset those devices.
Customer: Ok. Can you hold then? Im just gonna go to the other side of the street to my daughter's house to turn the router and the modem off!
Uh-oh!
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agent talking to a physically challenged customer. . . she has a maid, named Maria, who helped her with the powercycling. . . no connection still. . . but by this time customer sent maid to an errand downstairs. . .
now it so happens, Customer has a router, no home networking service. . . agent suggested to bypass the router. . . Customer agreed. . . feeling confident and not-so-physically-challenged. . . Customer says she will try switching the connections herself. . . agent agress to wait. . . after about 2-3 minutes. . . there was a thud. . . and then Customer is heard shouting. . . "MARIA! MARIA!!! CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME! I GOT MYSELF ALL TIED UP HERE!!!" . . . hehehe!!! I know I'm mean, but how else would I react to the situation. . .
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Customer calls in. . . frantic. . . does not know what to do. . . panicking. . she could barely put her thoughts into words. . . does not know how to explain to agent what is happening. . . . says she thought that if she has cable, is she not supposed to be online ALL THE TIME??!!! agent agrees, says that is technically correct. . . Customer says, in a really annoying tone. . . "WELL THEN HOW COME I DON'T HAVE INTERNET CONNECTION RIGHT NOW?!!"
agent: " is your computer directly connected to the modem?"
Customer: yes. . . and I'm using a LAPTOP. . .
agent: did you see an error message before you lost internet connection?
Customer: come to think of it. . . yes. . . it said something like "battery is low, recharge battery. . ."
agent: then what happened next?
Customer: then all of a sudden, (AND THIS SHE SAID LIKE IN A . . . WHAT-THE-HELL-HAPPENED-IS-MY-LAPTOP-POSSESSED kind of tone). . . THE SCREEN WENT BLACK. . . and no matter what I click on. . .nothing happens?!!
agent: did you recharge the battery alreaDy?
Customer: No. . . why? am I suppossed to do that? am i not supposed to be online all the time?
so. . . I went ahead and had to explain how cellphone will not work if battery has no power anymore. . . customer now understood. . . and compared it with the concept of laptop . . . Haaayzz!!!! The calls that we get!!!
And another one. Credits to whoever uploaded it.
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
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Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
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Customer:: "I'm having t rouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
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Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$ Angry
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Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
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Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?
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