INDAY JOKES PART 1



Doña Anna: Inday ano ulam natin? Darating na ang Señor mo.

Inday: Due to the frequent mass media coverage on hog cholera, I’ve consequently given a judgment on sauteing exquisite scallops in unsalted butter together with pungent white onion and tossed it with brisk asparagus. I’ve also assented to twist it with fresh lemonzest and advance its taste via blending a petty amount of chardonay white wine as well as a cup of viscous cream.

Doña Anna: Puta!
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Doña Anna: Inday, bakit mo binenta ‘yong sirang silya?

Inday: I have computed the chair’s fair value less cost to sell and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pretax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair, in accordance with PAS (Phil. Acctg. Standard) 18 on Revenue, PAS16 on Property, Plant and Equipment, & PAS36 on Asset Impairment!

Doña Anna: Fuck off!
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“Higher stock index and the low flow of investments triggered the inflation of the peso. Thus, your purchasing power is weak!

-Inday’s explanation when she was asked why the change she gave to Doña Anna was not enough.
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Doña: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda. Ay oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon. Would you please buy many fishes for this week’s meals?

Inday: Judging from your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term ‘fishes’ although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or fresh? (pauses) Aahh. Given the meager budget afforded by this household’s quasi-peasant class taste, I assume I shall source the staple “ga-lewng-gong.” Am i correct?

Doña: Leche!
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“Allergens triggerd the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostglandins. These substances result to an increase in circulationn to the site promoting redness.”

- Inday’s reply when asked why there were rashes in her ward Junior’s skin.
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MY ISSUE WITH THE CIVIL SERVICE COMMISSION
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