Call Center Spoofs Part 7

ME : May I have the service tag please?
Chinese/Korean Customer : Ok the service tag is 1-B-S-R-"Yi"
ME : Ok. So That's number 1. And then B as in Bravo. S as in Sierra. R as in Romeo and is the last character a number three??
Customer : No! No! That is Letter Yi!
ME : Uhh .. ok. Is that a Letter C? As in Charlie? Or Cat?
Customer : No! No! Letter Yi! Like Yu! Yu!
ME : Letter T? Like Tree? Or Two??
Customer : No! No! Letter Yi! YI!!!! Like Yu! You know, with the animals!
ME : OHHHHH!!! A LETTER Z!!! AS IN ZOO! With the animals!!
Customer : YES YES!! You got it!
This has got to be one of the funniest things I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have
been promoted, not fired.

This is a true story from the "WordPerfect Helpline" which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations).

"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"



"It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when
it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you
see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the
back of it, not just one?"


"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"


"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."


"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power...a power failure?... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a computer."
Agent: I'm calling from ***** and I wanted to verify some information
Operator: Hold I'll transfer you..

without waiting for contact, agent immediately delivered spiel when she heard a voice..

Agent: Hi! I'm calling from ***** and I wanted to verify some information.. Are you Mr. Smith?
At the other end: Please leave a message when you hear the beep...

VM pala amp!

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