P500 – sun plan subscription
P1800 – glutathione 30 capsules
P600 – Olay Total Effects
P1500 – Crocs flip flops
P2000 – for mama
- Inday’s budget for the month of October
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Boss: Inday! Bakit diyan mo pinapakain sa sahig si JR! Ang dum-dumi jan! Bluebaby pa naman ‘yan! (Inday, why did you let JR eat on the floor. It’s so dirty. Don’t forget, he’s a blue baby.)
Inday: Haller! What do you think of me, a moron?! “Blue spells” or “tet spells” of acute hypoxia usually occur during feeding. Squatting in ambulatory in a child with a tetralogy of fallout as a compensatory mechanism increases systematic resistance in venous return, briefly decreasing hypoxia! Now, you choose, you still want to see him alive, but with rashes or let him rest in peace?!
Boss: (collapsed)
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Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!
-si Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na maglikot.
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“To forrestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request. Petition denied.”
-reply ni Inday nang i-text ni dodong kung pwede sya maging txtmate.
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Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.
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“It’s absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!”
-Inday, kasama si Junior sa principal’s office.
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Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
Amo: (nosebleed)
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Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda, ay oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon, would you please buy many fishes for this week’s meals?
Inday: Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term fishes though rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the most pressing question before I go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or fresh? (pauses) Ahh…given the meager budget afforded by this household’s quasi-peasant class taste, I assume I shall source the staple “galewng-gong”. Yes?
Amo: Eh kung mag-empake ka na kaya?!
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Dear Mom,
Had i not been able to smell the salt, i must have collapsed moments ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn’t enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabilly run academe. Oh, such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can be such strenuous employ!
Your daughter,
Inday
Dear Inday,
Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital ang nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong pagkabasa ng pesteng sulat mo!
–TATAY
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CON-ASS: WHO ARE THE CRIMINALS?
